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This
is a must read if you are considering parrot Ownership.
WHAT’S
THE POINT?
By
Patricia Sund
Having
a parrot in your life is a puzzling existence. I suppose you could agree
with the idea that they provide companionship just as a dog or a cat does,
but why in God’s name a parrot? Where did we ever get the idea that
having a parrot would be a life enriching experience?
They’re
loud, messy, demanding, pushy, selfish, self-absorbed, and whiney. Amazing
isn’t it? We could have opted for the alpha-male position by having a
dog. But Noooo! That would be too easy. We could have not bothered with
any of it and found a cat in good need of a hearth and home. You know, A
little fuzzy guy that wouldn’t be too much trouble and really didn’t
care if we lived or died as long as the food train rolled around twice a
day.
Oh
no. We’re not having any of that. We had to go out and pay a big load of
bucks for creatures that want our love, our undying attention, our free
time, our not-so-free time, and our retirement fund just to keep them in
toys, food, entertainment and a decent cage.
If
they get upset, they scream, bite, or throw a hissy fit. They can develop
behavior problems at the drop of hat, a towel, or anything else. They’re
touchy, moody, needy, and sensitive.
They
will play you like a violin, and strum on your heartstrings just to get
that extra 10 minutes with you after you declared it was time for bed.
They will sulk, talk under their breath, and work you to death to get what
they want. They want something wonderful and they want it now!
On
the surface, having a parrot as a companion sounds so neat. It’s exotic
and different, but it doesn’t quite put you in the same exotic ballpark
as the people who would like to introduce you to their Tarantula. That
would be just a bit much for even your most seasoned average pet owner.
Owning a bird, especially a big bird, is socially acceptable, and has
become more prevalent. However, it’s still downright unconventional…it
sets the person apart from the norm, but it’s not too eccentric. It
tends to define who the perspective owner perceives himself to be.
So
many misunderstandings and so many misconceptions about the practice of
companion bird care are still rampant among the general public and it’s
starting to make me wonder when we’ll all get it right. It wouldn’t
bother me so much if parrot keeping weren’t on such an upswing in
popularity. I’m not saying that having a parrot should be some exclusive
little club where only those deemed “deserving” should be allowed to
have birds. What I’m trying to express here is that sometimes the
challenge of these creatures is too much for too many people.
I
don’t believe the general public understands what is involved in having
a companion bird. All parrot companions get the same statements and
comments from people as to why they would love to have a parrot. Usually
they want one just like mine, and I tell them that Parker is the result of
thousands of hours of research, training and attention. Parker really
isn’t an accident, and a lot of how he behaves, which is what makes him
so endearing to people, is a result of all of this work. I have to explain
to them that parrots don’t just show up on your doorstep and behave the
way he does.
Parker
isn’t particularly special or even that talented. He’s your
run-of-the-mill African Grey. He looks like every other African Grey.
He’s a parrot. He’s pretty good at it, this “being a parrot”
business, but that’s what he’s made to be and to do. I don’t believe
he thinks he’s a human. He’s really an enjoyable little guy, and quite
fun to have around. He’s quite social, and doesn’t do anything
terribly obnoxious. So far he doesn’t have any problems. It’s still
early but I’m hoping it will all turn out well.
But
many people simply state the following, and this is usually what I’m
thinking:
“I’m
different, I don’t follow the norm.” (I don’t either,
but I didn’t drag a parrot into the equation until I knew I could handle
it.)
“I
know I can handle the responsibility.” (Oh, really? I’d like to
introduce a few birds to you. Say hi to Chopper, Chainsaw, and Drill Bit!)
“They’re
so cute!” (You betcha! Say hi to Chopper’s beak.)
“They
not big animals and they don’t take much time to maintain.”
(This is a lovely poop machine especially designed to redesign your
beautiful Berber carpet with an exotic Dalmatian pattern. Keep them
clean, train them, teach them, and feed them well or you will most likely
end up living in a constant mess and with a sick or psychotic parrot.)
“You
can leave them alone in their cage for a few days can’t you?”
(Sure! Just pop your kids in there with him. You were going to leave
them too, weren’t you? )
“What
do they eat?” (Did you ask this question when you decided to have
children? If you’re asking, you haven’t done your homework.)
I
end up spending more time talking people out of getting a parrot rather
than the opposite. And the people who I think would make wonderful parrot
companions are quite hesitant because they’re the ones who know what a
vast undertaking it is and they doubt their own ability to take on such a
big responsibility. These are the people that are thinking long and hard
about the task. It’s the confident ones I worry about. These are the
people that will obtain a parrot and think that all they have to do is
feed it and clean it and it will sit there and learn all on its own.
I
had a talk with a gentleman acquaintance that had a 9-month-old baby girl,
and he stated that he wanted to get a parrot for his daughter. I asked him
why. His response was chilling. He said, “I can afford it. And I
want it for my daughter. You know, a nice “toy” for her to play
with.”
I
kept my cool, and asked him if he thought his daughter was a lot of work.
He agreed that she was a load of work, and that it was more than a full
time job. I then asked him if he was planning on having any more in the
near future. He told me no, he and his girlfriend weren’t going to have
any more kids because they hadn’t exactly planned their daughter, and
they just couldn’t handle any more.
I
then politely proceeded to explain the work involved in raising a baby
parrot: The time, the training, the diet requirements, the attention and
the fully involved commitment. He was obviously stunned, and backed down
from the thought. He got a little upset when I asked if he kept his
daughter around because she was a nice “toy” for him and his
girlfriend. But he got the point that I wasn’t too thrilled with his
“toy” comment and we left it at that.
I
have a theory. Unlike human beings, I don’t believe that anything a
parrot does is entirely unreasonable because I don’t think a parrot can
be deliberately deceptive with one exception: they will hide illness. I
believe any unreasonable behavior is a direct result of a situation they
cannot cope with. This response stems from a combination of their
environment, and DNA. Their responses to stress are about as varied and
different as how people respond to stress. I think they will respond to
the same stressful situations just as people do. Not everyone will respond
to the same situation in the same way. Millions of people fly on airplanes
every day. Some people won’t even go near an airport. It all depends on
how you’re wired, what your conditioning has been, and what your level
of comfort or stress is.
It’s
the same way with parrots. I think that when a well-looked after
parrot displays a negative behavior it is most likely a result of
something that has changed, something that he doesn’t understand or
fears, or it stems from a physical condition, such as sexual maturity,
illness or pain. They want what they want, and like children, they don’t
understand why they can’t always have their way. To paraphrase
psychiatrist, R.D. Laing: “Madness is a sane response to an insane
situation.” Everything about this “living with people”
lifestyle goes against their nature. It’s not a bad life for most
parrots and they usually adjust to it so beautifully. But every once in a
while, instinct raises its head and we have to somehow work out a solution
that is workable for both parties.
Push
them too far and they’ll push back and bite you. Push them further still
and they will pluck, scream or self-mutilate. They will push back so far
and so hard that they sometimes end up getting pushed out of a lot of
homes.
But
when it works, it is beautiful. God, they love you. Not only do they love
you, they can actually tell you that they love you. This is where the
beauty, the balance and the gripping artistry take hold of our hearts.
There
is absolutely nothing like having a parrot sitting in your lap: this wild
animal who accepts you as a flock member, and a friend. It is a
cross-species relationship that transcends the natural order of things.
I think the fascination comes with the closeness of the relationship
despite what nature normally dictates. It bucks what is considered
“natural”. There is indeed a poetry and symmetry to this unnatural
state, almost as if there were perfect balance required to maintain the
relationship on a very long teeter-totter. But the balance has to be
maintained or someone hits the dirt. A respect on both sides must be
instituted or someone ends up crossing that line of balance, and it is a
very thin line. You must give parrots credit. We never bother to learn
their language. We force them to learn ours in order to communicate, and
they are sometimes not considered to be cooperative or intelligent unless
they learn our ways of communication. At best, we can follow some very
rudimentary physical cues. Tail wagging; eye-pinning, preening, foot
stomping and beak banging are about all we can follow. My, this is
incredibly intuitive of us!
In
the meantime, they are calling us by our names, asking for dinner, singing
like Streisand, telling the dog to be quiet and attempting to answer the
phone.
I
love having a companion parrot. I love who Parker is and I have changed
profoundly for the better as a result of our relationship. He didn’t
have to change a thing other than learn a few simple rules about manners.
He just goes on being a parrot and I am lucky enough to have earned his
trust. My relationship with Parker has not only changed the way I look at
the world, but how I feel about it. This still wild little creature has
the ability to teach me so much just by waking up in the morning.
Unlike
dogs and cats, birds have not yet domesticated themselves. They still have
no need to and we certainly haven’t spent enough time in a companion
environment to change their wiring. We chose to take on this relationship
because we need them, not the other way around and I think we need to live
up to it. By failing them, we fail ourselves. And that would leave us with
having to admit that we were not worthy of the relationship in the first
place.
*******
Patricia
Sund is a Columnist for “Bird Talk” Magazine and has a popular Blog
called “Parrot
Nation,” where she writes about life, birds, and her
adventures in the world of Aviculture, including volunteering as a Keeper
at the Cincinnati Zoo. She has written for Phoenix Landing’s
“Phoenix Beakin’”, “The Alamo Exhibition Bird Club,” the AFA
“Watch Bird,”as well as for the Rocky Mountain Society of Aviculture.
She has written internally for American Airlines as well as having
written, directed and produced a play called: “Loves People-Loves to
Travel.”
Patricia
has completed Dr. Susan Friedman’s online course: “LLP: Living &
Learning with Parrots,” and both Beginning and Advanced Levels of the
“Natural Encounters” Companion Parrot Training Seminars.
Patricia
Lives in Florida with her two Hoodlum African Grey Parrots, Parker and
Pepper and her parrot-poop dodging, rescued ShihTzu: Mattie.
When
asked why she has parrots in her life, she always responds the same way:
“I’ve been a Flight Attendant for almost 23 years; I guess I’m used
to serving food, repeating myself, cleaning up crap and getting hollered
at.”
Article
reprinted with permission from the author. |